things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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