Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
