Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
