I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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