Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
