My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Quick, to the slutcave!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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