so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize