How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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