very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
