There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I need to align my fucking chakras
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
