I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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