i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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