Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
