saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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