Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize