she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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