tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
