dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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