I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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