She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
