I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
