Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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