she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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