My nipple is on Facebook.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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