I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
