a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize