just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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