I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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