I have demons in me.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Someone came in the potted fern
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I have aggressive nipples.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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