How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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