2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
