It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
