quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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