Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize