I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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