Whod you bang
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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