i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize