Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
