i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
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You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
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I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize