I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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