You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
