The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Randomize
