So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
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She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
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He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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