I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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