If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
