trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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