I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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