You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
