we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
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She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
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He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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