Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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