puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
