I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm like, not good at living.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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