If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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