So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.