Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.