What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.