If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
