He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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