It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
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did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
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Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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