There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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