I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
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how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
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my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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