she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
