No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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