McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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