All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
