i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I am naked and annoyed.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
