this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
