can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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